Running with Friends

I started running because it was for me it was a nice, solitary activity. Running for me is a time to be alone and to sort out my own thoughts. It was a time when I do not have to be wife, a mother or daughter. Running three to five miles were enjoyable. But I came to a point where I also needed someone to share my running experiences with specially on longer runs. My family has always been supportive, but they do not quite get the excitement that I get from my runs and my races. I have very good friends, but some of them still think I should only run when being chased.

Through one of the running blogs that I read, I found the group "Moms Run This Town". I gingerly joined their Facebook page and found a place that belongs to moms of all ages and running abilities. Ignoring all warnings to not meet anyone in person whom you've only met on the internet, I signed up for a group run. After all, these are moms so they would not hurt me, right?

Since then, I have been running with these amazing group of women at least once a week. We've run races together, climbed up stairs and trekked trails. These women are not just a "support" group who I run with, they are now friends. The support we get goes beyond pushing each other on the track and the roads, we only support each other through injuries, setbacks and issues with our children. These moms listen, understand and are able to relate to what each of is going through.
I can actually give credit to MRTT for my continued determination and of course my speedier running pace.

Sometimes I Run from my Demons

This is going to be difficult post to write. During my runs, I usually reflect on what is going with my life and my with my family's life. Lately, I have been ruminating about where I am in life and how my past decisions got me here.
There are many reasons why I run. One of them is that I almost never have been successful in anything I have ever done for myself. It took me more than four years to finish my Bachelor of Arts Degree with only one class left to complete. After I finished my Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology, I slaved away at years of unpaid internships to obtain my Marriage and Family Therapy license only to stop short of a few hundred hours to licensure.
Last year, I enrolled in an online college to earn my credential to teach special education. I have passed most of my classes and yet I had failed to finish some of them. I have yet to enroll again and finish what I had started. Now I am working as an instructional assistant and quite honestly not feeling fullfilled with my job. I earn the same amount of money as someone who has not graduated college.
I seem to know how to sabotage any chance of success that I may have. This includes even my interpersonal relationships. I tend to hurt the people I should care about the most.
Running has become for me a means to meet a goal I have never yet in other aspects of my life. Yes, I know it seems that I am putting more meaning into my running than I should, but sometimes I feel that it is the only good thing that I have going to for me. Every step, every mile and every finish line has become to me a symbol of my own achivement.
Running is something that no one can take away from me. No one pushed me into it, no has any expectations from me, and no one else can accomplish this but me. So far, I have accomplished more than I expected of myself.
Yes, I do run from my own demons. Sometimes they chase me like a sonofabitch. I am getting faster, I am getting stronger. I know I will out run them. I know I will persevere.