Sometimes I Run from my Demons

This is going to be difficult post to write. During my runs, I usually reflect on what is going with my life and my with my family's life. Lately, I have been ruminating about where I am in life and how my past decisions got me here.
There are many reasons why I run. One of them is that I almost never have been successful in anything I have ever done for myself. It took me more than four years to finish my Bachelor of Arts Degree with only one class left to complete. After I finished my Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology, I slaved away at years of unpaid internships to obtain my Marriage and Family Therapy license only to stop short of a few hundred hours to licensure.
Last year, I enrolled in an online college to earn my credential to teach special education. I have passed most of my classes and yet I had failed to finish some of them. I have yet to enroll again and finish what I had started. Now I am working as an instructional assistant and quite honestly not feeling fullfilled with my job. I earn the same amount of money as someone who has not graduated college.
I seem to know how to sabotage any chance of success that I may have. This includes even my interpersonal relationships. I tend to hurt the people I should care about the most.
Running has become for me a means to meet a goal I have never yet in other aspects of my life. Yes, I know it seems that I am putting more meaning into my running than I should, but sometimes I feel that it is the only good thing that I have going to for me. Every step, every mile and every finish line has become to me a symbol of my own achivement.
Running is something that no one can take away from me. No one pushed me into it, no has any expectations from me, and no one else can accomplish this but me. So far, I have accomplished more than I expected of myself.
Yes, I do run from my own demons. Sometimes they chase me like a sonofabitch. I am getting faster, I am getting stronger. I know I will out run them. I know I will persevere.

Running With My Child/The Sharks Fitness Challenge

It was a 5k run that I signed up for at the last minute. I had originally just signed up my 11 year old for the kids fun run, but he begged and begged me to run the 5k with him (ok he didn't really have to beg that hard).  So sign up I did.

Seven tutus for seven runners

Since my cousins were also signed up, we came up with a crazy idea to make teal tutus in honor of the San Jose Sharks. So Friday before the race, on a blistering day when my A/C chose to break down, we made seven tutus.

That Sunday, June 30th was the middle of a very unusual heatwave that hit our fair Bay Area. (Yes, I will admit that we are spoiled crybabies who will complain if the temperature gauge flactuates beyond 75 degrees.) It was predicted to go up to 99 degrees that day, so I made a deal with my son to try and finish the 5k in forty minutes. Not too much to ask for, right? And we are off!
We were off to a running start, well at least for the first thirty seconds before my Bubba decided to slow down to warm up first. But the warm up walk kinda lasted almost the entire race. (To be fair, he did tell me he wasn't able to sleep all night because it was too hot.) I tried to encourage him to keep going and to try to at least jog. I found myself getting frustrated because it was a race after all. I literally had to stop take a breath and come to a realization that he has not trained for this. He is trying is best and I had to forget about my time and worry about him just getting to the finish.
I run for many reasons. One of them is so that I could inspire my children to try their best and to also to as healthy as they could be. In light of that, I need to keep in mind that signing them up for one race without really helping them train for is not a way to help me reach my goal.
Thank you for reading my first blog. I hope to share with you more of my journey and I hope that you could join me.

How do you encourage your children to excercise?
Have you run races with your children?